a couple of weeks ago I posted this instagram:
I saw a t shirt the other day that says "bad decisions make the best stories". If there was a book about Jack, this would be it’s title. I might be exaggerating a bit. (wink) For real though, he does have a tee shirt that I bought for him that says Trouble Maker (Buy me Brunch). He has been walking just slightly to the side of the ruling authority since he was a little guy.
He turned 14 in June. Next fall he starts High School. Watch out world, Jack is coming.
He is a rebel, a free thinker, and rule questioner. He likes to push the limits, question the status quo and cross boundaries. He likes to challenge himself and those in authority of him. He hates the daily mundane, refuses to do things that bore him and loves to research the death out of things that intrigue him.
Though I have spent every single year of his school life defending him and suggesting that his life would be easier should he be a respectful citizen, I admire him so much. I am also a rebel. I also pushed the limits in both my own education, my business and the status quo.
We’ve done so much change in our house since we closed our business, and I think Jack was the most impacted by them. He is almost a completely different kid. And we are a different family, and we are for sure different parents. We’ve learned to embrace the uniqueness that is Jack and he has learned to be valued in our home and family in a new way.
Someday this kid will invent something, discover something or just plain challenge the way we live.
and I celebrate that.
His story and the story of our life changes coming soon to our blog.
I think boys are misunderstood. Or maybe it was just me who misunderstood them. I am, obviously, not a boy. and prior to this I’ve had the two girls. And honestly, Jack is not like his dad, whom I sometimes understand. Unfortunately, it took me a really long time to understand my little guy and how I could best raise him. Like all kids it is an ever changing and evolving role, but I feel so more equipped than I did before.
I am a researcher. I like to look things up. most of the time. There are some things that I actually refuse to look up and see what others say, because I honestly just don’t care and want to do it my way. I will totally look up how to make a natural ant repellent. How to raise a boy? no. No thank you. That’s not to say that I have never sought help, or even looked things up. But honestly, I can not seem to find a valuable resource out there on the internet for some of the things we’ve dealt with in raising Jack. Some of it is just trial and error, getting to know him better as he grows and can express himself more, and just plain embracing the human that he is.
This will be an ongoing series. Teenage boys are fun and also challenging. I have a lot to say about this one.
As I've said before, there are a lot of changes that we’ve made in our lives since leaving behind our super busy lifestyle. There are a couple that have really impacted Jack the most. I would say other than jeffrey and I, Jack is the one most changed due to our efforts.
Nutrition and diet is obviously a huge component of our changes. This has impacted jack’s life in several ways as we changed the way that we ate, the times that we ate, and what we ate. But these 2 changes were the most impactful to his daily life and thus his happiness:
one:
He ate a healthier breakfast every morning. Every morning he was served eggs, his favorite is “mommy eggs” — mushrooms, asparagus and feta. (this used to be my favorite, thus the name). If for reason, we don’t have eggs, jack eats something leftover from dinner, always a meat and vegetable or other protein. This is opposed to the old breakfast habit of toaster waffles, cereal or toast - which used to be his favorite. He is given something more substantial, something that will stay with him for a couple of hours and get his brain moving in the right direction. Less sugar and more protein and nutrient rich foods.
two:
He took his own lunch from home. As opposed to getting a ‘hot lunch’ from school. I used to think that he really liked the hot lunch program. What I think he actually liked was the convenience of it. He hates to stand out in a crowd and carrying a lunch box was something that made him feel like he was being weird. But when I asked him every day what he ate for lunch ( I purposefully didn't print out the lunch menu calendar because I wanted to ask him, have a touch point, something he knew I didn't know that he had to answer when I asked) I discovered that he really wasn't eating the lunch. He didn't like it most days. Pizza days seemed okay, but it never seemed like he was getting enough.
He used to come home not having eaten the hot lunch. He didn’t like it, but I didn’t understand that. The kid was hungry, and we just didn’t know it. Once I realized this I felt terrible that I had allowed it to happen for so long.
So with the breakfast changes, he also got a lunch upgrade. He takes his own lunch. Usually I make it for him or help to pile the foods together on the counter and then he packs it and makes changes on it as he desires at that time.
Every single day jack takes a caesar salad. Sometimes it has grilled chicken or steak. He also takes celery, peanut butter, peppers, carrots, some sort of fruit and sometimes other random things like olives, snack cheese or meats, or plantain chips. He also took his own water bottle and was able to fill it all day long, thus I knew he was getting enough water as well.
With these changes, he was able to function better at school. He was getting more fuel for his body. The behavior problems went way down and his ability to pay attention went way up.
“With these changes, he was able to function better at school. He was getting more fuel for his body. The behavior problems went way down and his ability to pay attention went way up.”
I think people just always have this assumption that teenage boys eat everything and all the foods, shoveling food into their mouths all the time as their bodies change and grow. In our experience, this happens some of the time. In the absence of foods that he actually likes or enjoys, he doesn't eat. He simply will not eat. It is super important to find the foods that they will eat. For jack that doesn't mean chips, pizza and junk. Jack loves celery, peppers, broccoli, salad, meat -- almost any kind, strawberries, pears, clementines and the list goes on. As long as I have those foods in the house, he eats. And at that point, he does eat non-stop. Given permission to eat those foods at his leisure, and he will. Create guidelines of how, when and what and he thrives.
Working together to make these changes for Jack have made huge differences in his life. We gave him choices within our guidelines and he thrived. He is happier, healthier, more communicative, and more open. He sleeps better, he interacts more with his family, he is just more agreeable and easy going. Overall, we are all happier.