This is really hard for me.
the fear is real. the struggle is real.
I am working on crossing my own boundaries.
I worry that no one really cares about what I might have to say.
and I guess I have come to the conclusion that I am not doing this because anyone else really cares. I am doing it because I am compelled to share my story.
and maybe, just maybe, I will say something that might change someone else’s life.

if I do what I really want and say what I really want to say, at some point I will probably alienate you in some way.
because I am very opinionated.
and I am very honest.
sometimes that doesn’t sit well with people.

I can’t say that I am sorry.
because if I am being true to myself, I don’t really care.
I mean, honestly, I have days where I am sad that maybe people don’t like me.
but when I am not myself, and act in ways that are not true to me, like trying to act a certain way in order to fit in,I don’t feel good. my energy is off, I feel physically ill and I don’t like myself. I am depressed and my aura is not true.
I would only act that way if I was worried that someone didn’t like me.
or that I didn’t fit in.

I have this weird trait, where I say what I am feeling. How I really feel about things. No filters. If I am not liking motherhood on that day, I will say so. I don’t coat anything with flowers and rainbows.
This makes people laugh usually. Because I think it makes them uncomfortable.
The brutal honesty catches people off guard.
The thing I hear most often, from anyone, everyone, from my best friend to strangers, is that I am Honest.
...“well, that was very honest”...
I am shrugging.

I don’t fit in.
I see the world differently.
I can’t seem to help that.
I can’t change that.
Honestly, I don’t want to change.

so, therefore, I am different
and I will probably alienate you.